I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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