it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
