my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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