Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
