He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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