There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
