Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We are two peas in an std pod
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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