But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
two words: eviction party
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Randomize
