Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
