i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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