for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
