My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
