was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
