Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Boobs speak an international language.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
