I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
