did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
