I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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