But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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