ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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