she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
