lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
