Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
