found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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