It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
