I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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