I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
did you just send me my own nude
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
