Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
