I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
