Just fell off a train. Bad.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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