i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This is the high leading the old right now
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
