You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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