He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
