i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
