I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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