she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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