Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
