I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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