i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
