I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
