im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
