i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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