didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
