do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
