if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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