The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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