Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
