You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
