I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
