I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
