He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
